Vasectomy funny quotes reddit. 22 votes, 47 comments.

Vasectomy funny quotes reddit 10\10 would get sack cut again. Years later, I still enjoyed the novelty of having a vasectomy at 21. I needed a bit more numbing agent on my second vas deferens but after it was done I just had the funny walk and went to get lunch. Seems like you got a little potential but I don't see a lot of humor here. It was an easy decision for me, and I haven't regretted it for a single second. Wake up dazed and confused with an ache in your balls and having to wear the cone of shame and being unable to lick your itchy sore ball sack. 59M subscribers in the funny community. This is a quote from The Good Place, and I've been thinking about it for months now: "Picture a wave in the ocean: you can see it measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts… and then it crashes on the shore and then it’s gone. Hellllloooooooo! A reddit all about Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer. 2. Two Still, a vasectomy is a permanent thing and I want to make damned sure I won't have any regrets. 600K subscribers in the seinfeld community. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face palm then our community is ready to groan along with you. Like plane travel, I didn’t know if I was going to have to sprint across the airport terminals to make my flights or not. This detail will be relevant. There’s a vas deferens between these and any others you may find! Oct 4, 2021 · A great way to cheer up your friend, family member, or coworker is with funny vasectomy quotes to get him through the procedure. Neither the vasectomy scene nor the pregnancy scene are funny. I'd like to hear your personal experiences and opinions on vasectomy. I agree. Vasectomies may be totally free (or low cost) with some health insurance plans, Medicaid, and other government programs. To be clear, dad status is not a requirement. 93 votes, 22 comments. Ivermectin FAQ You can: 1- shop around for other urologists and get billing quotes 2 - consider waiting until next year and weigh the costs differences with a change in healthcare plan (high deductible to a PPO or other option). Memedroid: your daily dose of fun! guess i got lucky. Melissa McCarthy’s real life pregnancy required an update to that storyline. Posted by u/eguy888 - 15,437 votes and 489 comments The vasectomy disconnects the testees from the rest of ones plumbing, but there's still sperm in the pipes, so to speak. Sometimes it's congestion (think kinked garden hose). (Hey, that rhymes). Yes pwedeng ibalik PERO sobrang baba ng chance na magiging normal ka ulit. 5K votes, 379 comments. I have a motive, so I will be honest with my brothers. 58M subscribers in the funny community. Since then my balls feel "funny" when I get really horny. 2 months for that workshop. I had a closed-ended procedure with cautery on the distal end and fascial interposition. 13 votes, 14 comments. So, I got a vasectomy 2 years ago and the whole process was a roller coaster. 16K votes, 707 comments. The part that I thought was pretty funny was that I initially scheduled it when I figured my oldest would be at school the following day, the youngest would be at the nanny's place, and my wife would be at work. 13K votes, 1K comments. So I got in the office and waited for a bit and was lent in to a room with a love seat and a like two other chairs. ” Whether you’re considering the procedure or just need a good laugh, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. " -Rohan Kishibe, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable. Welcome to HumorNama, the original source of all memes, jokes and funny stories on the Internet. Best vasectomy quotes selected by thousands of our users!. I lied. I was looking through my notes from this year, and I usually write down funny quotes from office hours/lecture when I hear them. Sperm granuloma are significantly more likely to form in an open-ended vasectomy than a closed-ended one. 5K votes, 221 comments. A vasectomy is the perfect solution for those who no longer want to play the game of “hide and seed. Reply reply justanobody5 True story, when I worked with insurance, I got a customer checking in to see if Dr Dick Vanderslice was in-network. One dude told me that he knew for a fact that a vasectomy included removal of testicles, and that he thought that I was the victim of a failing educational system. Do buy supportive underwear early on, I didn’t until the 4th da Thank you for your reply. 22 votes, 47 comments. Also the cake isn't funny it's just odd and off putting. 5% And in terms of statistics, taking into account all the possible causes of this dilema, the potential "failed vasectomy" is the least likely to be the cause. Praying for you. Don't want kids. Sadly, it looks like he passed in 2020, but it sounds like he was well-known and well-loved, and this customer was seriously intent on ensuring this doc would be the one handling his vasectomy, on the recommendation of others. next day, i went to my buddy's kid's bday, where they had beers, and i was hanging out with the boys at like 90%. We have 3 children (7f,2m,9mos f), and every single labor with them has gone horribly wrong. If you are in your 20s and are thinking about getting a vasectomy, really think it through. Wᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀ/SGExᴀᴍs – the largest community on reddit discussing education and student life in Singapore! SGExams is also more than a subreddit - we're a registered nonprofit that organises initiatives supporting students' academics, career guidance, mental health and holistic development, such as webinars and mentorship programmes. 317K subscribers in the tylerthecreator community. 1K votes, 185 comments. I am in my mid 30s. I am hoping this will be a long thread. Reddit's largest humor depository Also, I’m sharing this specifically for anyone who is considering a vasectomy and has a varicocele. I am not on the pill. 57K votes, 2. I'm in pain 2+ years late and can't afford the surgery (quotes at close to 14k oop) since insurance will pay 0, even for pain. No issues for me. Have you heard of the guy who got a vasectomy? Now he’s shooting pointlessly. I was young and naive tbh trying to make my woman happy at the time to make sure nobody gets pregnant but also had the dumb idea of "Who cares what I do I'm not gonna live till 50 anyway and have old people problems being unable to shit and piss by themselves soon" type of thing so didn't think 2K votes, 282 comments. Literally 49 hours ago as of this post. Embracing humor can make life’s challenging moments a bit more bearable, and that’s exactly what we’re doing with our compilation of “Funny Vasectomy Jokes. But I have encountered two cases where it wasn’t detected on my initial exam and while doing the procedure, they were entered, allowing clear, yellow fluid to exude. In a closed-ended vasectomy, the testicles don't drain so that feeling is different but it does reduce the risk of granulomas developing in the scrotum from sperm leaking from the open end. I know men who've had pain for 20+ years. I had my vasectomy like 4 months ago. Reddit's largest humor depository When you get quotes for medical services, make sure they are aware you have no insurance and you'll be paying with cash. ” And while on the table as the drugs were kicking in I told everyone to “have a ball!” My favorite so far: After having their 10th child, an Arkansas couple decided that that was enough. So the next morning Amber Heard tried to trap me and said: "You are stuck with me for the rest of your life. 3. Laughs are good. The bushy beard and eyebrows give schnauzers a charming, human-like expression. 13K votes, 692 comments. 2K votes, 535 comments. 60M subscribers in the funny community. 202 votes, 22 comments. Reddit's largest humor depository Agreed, husband had his done in June. Why would a man get a vasectomy? He wanted to limit his family’s jewelry by producing small stones. And you insinuated that this responder may regret their decision in the future, because of their age. after a major breakup some 7 years later ive been wanting to get back into streaming and youtube to occupy my mind and it just makes me happy to make others laugh. Why did this man get a vasectomy on Friday? Jul 29, 2020 · When it comes to surgery vasectomies are a whole different ball game. ” They thought I was crazy. " I just smirked and kissed her goodbye. Weird. Archived post. Why would your wife even make this for you it's just so weird and almost disturbing. 3K comments. Anong naging ending? r/Vasectomy A place for anyone to ask questions about vasectomies and share their experiences. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I don't know how to describe it. I'm considering getting one when my wife and I are done having kids. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. If you're looking for support (or a recommendation for a supportive underwear), we're here for you. Reddit's largest humor depository Reddit's Content Policy. We are talking less than 0. Posted by u/Aelfric_Stormbringer - 12 votes and 10 comments Always felt a bit bad for our wee dog. i went home, put a bag of peas on my balls, and slept off the drugs. I took some over the counter pain medication (probably ibruprofine but whatever the doctor recommended) but it wasn't as painful as a bad bruise and I felt fine after two days. Any funny experiences dating with a vasectomy (everyone chime in). Priests sometimes permit the use of birth control where health is a serious concern. Right before my surgery I told the NP “thank you, this is going to make a vas deferens in my life. Got the procedure done 5 days ago now and want to share my lessons learned along the way. Reddit's Vaccine FAQ. The funny thing is the number of American adults that I have met that think that a vasectomy includes the removal of testicles. 9K comments. You responded to someone who has had a vasectomy and said they don’t want children. Reddit's largest humor depository Talk to a priest. And the forced vasectomy is almost worse just because it wasn’t a necessary plot device. And the same is true of these funny vasectomy jokes and puns. I always tell people, if I didn't know I had a vasectomy I wouldn't know I had a vasectomy. " I like to imagine theres a kinda story behind it. Already have a vasectomy. I am completed my full non-reversible vasectomy, general anesthesia(27 April 2024) !!!! I am 18 y. Jackson didn’t lie about the vasectomy so he could impregnate Sookie without her consent. Funny how we all still go hiking, motorcycling, lift weights, and not a one is complaining about PVPS, or limping. Don't forget… The full list also has some funny gambling quotes, here are a few examples _____ When I read about the evils of gambling I gave up reading. Both of those times they wanted to change my mind about getting the Vasectomy. Reddit's largest humor depository /r/OldSchoolCool **History's cool kids, looking fantastic!** A pictorial and video celebration of history's coolest kids, everything from beatniks to bikers, mods to rude boys, hippies to ravers. long story short i used to make videos and quit after about 15k subs for my job. I had my vasectomy in October 2023 with a very experienced urologist at a surgical center. Only real pain was the numbing shot, followed by odd tugging sensations (while numb). Reddit's largest humor depository Jan 4, 2024 · 50 Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes to Cure Your Blues; 60 Funny Urology Jokes And Puns for the Exam Room; 40 Funny Gastroenterology Jokes for Real Belly Laughs; 25 Funny Endoscopy Jokes And Puns for Gut-Busting Laughs; 70 Funny Gynecologist Jokes Straight From The Exam Room; 60 Funny Boner Jokes And Puns for the Hard Laughs Jul 26, 2022 · Add a touch of humor to your loved one’s wardrobe with this Funny Vasectomy T-Shirt! Featuring the playful phrase “100% Juice No Seeds,” this shirt is sure to bring a smile to their face and anyone who sees it. But you can keep working on it. I'm gonna go through with it when we're ready. Some guy asked what happens if the doctor slips with the knife and cuts his sack off completely. It's a niche joke. What do you call a man who has just had a vasectomy? Sniper. Yup many of them have white hair or are bald, but that is not from having a vasectomy. I got a tattoo of a piece of autoclave tape, because I'm "sterile". Pretty sure I'm healing as expected. Reddit's largest humor depository Kick back and watch TV. It's called PVPS (post vasectomy pain syndrome). I don't know for sure if it will help for a Vasectomy, but in general savings can be had when they know they don't have to deal with insurance. Reddit's largest humor depository My husband is scheduled for a vasectomy since we have decided we are happy with the number of biological children that we have. Back in the day that lead to a lot of questions, Most of the time, they asked, "How many did you have before the vasectomy?", or "You are denying your wife her god given right, you need to 135 votes, 12 comments. Fr, there's been like 3 separate stories within this past week that's got me sweating 😅 I'm trying to practice pushing aside the anxiety and trusting in the success and permanence of the procedure after getting the "all-clear" from the surgeon after submitting the 12-week sample. A couple of suggestions that might be a little more funny: a fancy way of saying I don't like condoms, or I don't want to wear condoms, or I don't like wearing condoms. I've gotten hand surgery (car accident, left hand), heart surgery (dual heart bypass), and circumcised as an adult with no extra issues before getting a vasectomy. o. Bring out your best, worst, NSFW, whatever memes directly related to vasectomy. He is 36, Discovery paid in full. Sometimes it's nerve pain. However, I disagree with those who think this was reproductive coercion. hopefully. I (41M) got a vasectomy in August 2021. It's like that feeling when you go down fast in a slope but instead your stomach/bellybutton I feel it in my balls. They’re both shitty. Reddit's largest humor depository 171 votes, 92 comments. I dunno why but it gave casting vibes. We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: COVID Dashboard. The doctor listened to Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers during the procedure. Getting a vasectomy really takes the phrase “it’s all in the balls” to a whole new level. Welcome to r/Quotes However, jocks still give me some confidence that I won’t be in much pain due to my vasectomy when I can’t judge just how ‘active’ I will be. Reddit's largest humor depository Get the spermiogram first, there are some cases that the vasectomy heals itself but they are quite rare. Don't let the kids hit your repair job. Reddit's largest humor depository 35 votes, 36 comments. 17. They eventually broke down and had their own vasectomies after they got divorced and started chasing women half their age. This greatly reduces inflammation overall. Find and save ideas about vasectomy quotes on Pinterest. Recovery is going to take way longer than 3 days. It was quick and easy just like me. Vasectomy big deal? No, its 15min 45 max procedure (not surgery, think of it like wisdom teeth removal as local anesthetics too) with most insurance, 80%, covering it, and invasive. Do ice every 20 minutes on and 40-60 minutes off like clockwork the first few days. At the procedure, the nurses and Dr that performed my Vasectomy still tried to convince me not to get it. 76 votes, 53 comments. The dr’s office called to say that they have run out of local anesthetic, but can give me laughing gas. ~ Henny Youngman _____ I once gave up women, drinking and gambling… it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. We currently have a son and wife is pregnant with baby boy #2. We have two sons and the urologist wasn't too impressed when I pitched up 8 months pregnant with our daughter to pick him up afterwards (apparently they are always concerned that something might go wrong with the pregnancy and leave us wanting to try again but being unable too). When I solicited price quotes from major hospitals in Bangkok and the nearby coastal town of Pattaya, most wanted around 25,000 baht ($800). You can always wait more to get a vasectomy, but going back is not something you want to stake your chances on. 297 votes, 320 comments. A vasectomy is like painting a clear “do not enter” sign on the baby factory. Apr 21, 2022 · @hippiekay21 Not really a big ordeal but here’s him getting it🤷🏼‍♀️ he found it funny 😜 #GameTok #vasectomyhumor #vasectomy #fyp ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey r/Vasectomy A place for anyone to ask questions about vasectomies and share their experiences. Everything feels and looks exactly the same. Reddit's largest humor depository After years of telling myself "I'll do it someday," I (M37) finally booked with an urologist and had the vasectomy done two days ago. I paid 1000 CHF and the insurance covered 80% of the costs. I saw a post on Quora once. Enjoy our vasectomy quotes collection. I'll clarify. Why the hell do people on Reddit feel the need to share the fact they got a vasectomy, no one cares, it's weird, and it's not even an achievement. Don’t even try to claim your response was to OP. Reddit's largest humor depository 59M subscribers in the funny community. I haven't noticed any vast difference. It took me 2 weeks to recover from aches, and 4 weeks to recover completely. 53M subscribers in the funny community. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit Favorite funny quote from each character? There's just too many good ones, these are the first great one's to come to mind for me. Reddit's largest humor depository The Latin proverb "omne animal post coital triste" which means "all animals are sad after sex. Hey everyone! I’m getting a vasectomy in a little under a month, I’m looking for a funny tattoo to commemorate this event… 2. i know my editing needs some work im rusty but all criticism welcome. Bakit? Once na mag undergo ka na sa procedure, mahirap na yan i-undo yung procedure. Lay people on Reddit can offer good information, but a priest can provide the best guidance. Apr 12, 2024 · 15. 3K votes, 233 comments. Posted by u/Artistic_Skill8068 - 1 vote and no comments Posted by u/ErosPhotography - 3,493 votes and 332 comments 892 votes, 74 comments. Reddit's largest humor depository Posted by u/Ok-Ring1979 - 20 votes and 16 comments 6. May nabasa akong post dito na nagpa vasectomy kasi ayaw nila magka anak ng jowa niya. ~George Best Aug 19, 2024 · See, rate and share the best vasectomy memes, gifs and funny pics. All the same vasectomy puns/wordplay on snacks and shirts or underwear with vasectomy jokes in some fashion. Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. 52M subscribers in the funny community. Hey dads - I know some of you have had the snip and with my procedure in a couple weeks I need to get some underwear that will hold me nuts up… no complication other than theres practically no chance at recovery because it's been over 3 years. 44K votes, 8. I got a vasectomy years ago when my girlfriend at the time (who is now my wife) didn't really care for condoms, and knew she didn't want to have any more children. "The problem with most quotes found on the internet is that they are often not true" -Abraham Lincoln (I don't actually laugh because of the quote itself, I laugh because I remember the stupid people that didn't get the joke) Sookie was wrong for acting as if he had no say or agency over his own body. I am very proud of it, so I often say, "No, I had a vasectomy" and leave it at that. What are some are your favorite anime quotes that are funny, weird, or just make no god damn sense in context? For me, it definitely has to be this: "I thought I could just casually look into a child. 163 votes, 125 comments. Careful when shaving your balls ahead of time, I also gave myself my own DIY vasectomy! The cost of a vasectomy varies and depends on where you get it, what kind you get, and whether or not you have health insurance that will cover some or all of the cost. Reddit's largest humor depository 700 votes, 65 comments. 16. Reddit's stance on misinformation /r/Funny's rules. Then, i had to take a workshop woth more men about it. Here goes: Back in college I wrote a paper on the subject of dating and having a vasectomy with no children. Reddit's largest humor depository Hi everyone - 35yo twindad getting the beans snipped next week. A place for anyone to ask questions about vasectomies and share their experiences. My brother wrote one specifically on marriage and vasectomies. However, I do not see any reason why I would regret getting a vasectomy at this time. Reddit's largest humor depository r/VasectomyCringe: Documenting Reddit's love of self castration and the rewards given to the new eunuchs. but seems like thats not the main concern of urs OP They could have just had a conversation about it. Yep. 54M subscribers in the funny community. Hunny, vasectomy is a lifetime commitment, walang balikan. By ejaculating ~15 times, one clears the sperm out, and after that it's just semen, which can't get a partner pregnant. Going for a fun exciting car ride with senior pack members, but then get left at the vet. Just having varicoceles is considered a relative contraindication against having vasectomy. A recent "meta-analysis" of various peer-reviewed articles on post-vasectomy pain estimates that the "overall incidence of post-vasectomy pain" was 15% and that "post-vasectomy pain syndrome" which is post-vasectomy pain that is rated as being significant enough to impair major life activities, was estimated at 5%. 556 votes, 42 comments. (19 March 2006) upvotes · comments Posted by u/Select_Plane_6350 - 2 votes and 2 comments The bold, bewhiskered Schnauzer is a high-spirited farm dog from Germany. Posted by u/CaptCash - 489 votes and 151 comments r/Vasectomy A place for anyone to ask questions about vasectomies and share their experiences. 6. 46M subscribers in the AskReddit community. I had a short first talk about my reasons to do it (already have 3 kids) and a routine check, then I got a date about a month later. When I got my vasectomy years ago when my wife and I got home from the procedure she sat me down and said wait a minute now, left the room and came back in with a homemade, human sized cone of shame like the Vet would put around your dogs neck after getting him fixed. But she could have easily just said “ok we’re absolutely done making babies” and not forced the vasectomy. Funny that you should mention that. 55M subscribers in the funny community. When the doctor says you'll be 100% in 3 days that's basically just a lie. 432K subscribers in the quotes community. Posted by u/Skolos1 - 32 votes and 128 comments I just looked for a urologist in my area with experience, was not hard to find. We have just one friend who has had one and he had it done over a decade ago. A vasectomy should be considered 100% permanent even though it can be reversed. 57M subscribers in the funny community. I saw a lot of funny… I was going to get my husband a funny cake for his birthday/vasectomy day (Nov 30) but I didn't have time :( Instead, when he puts a bag of peas in his pants to help with swelling I ask him "Are those peas in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" He rolls his eyes at that and the other corny jokes I make, but he loves me. 18. You should only have a vasectomy if you are done having children or you are certain you do not want children. Oct 5, 2024 · Vasectomy Jokes Reddit. We're all different and excellent. My fear of it being on a US medical record is rooted in if things got so bad, they were going after women for sterilization or pregnancy-related appointments that indicated a miscarriage. 57 votes, 50 comments. Reversal success percentage declines 1) with age and 2) with time since getting the vasectomy. So my vasectomy ended up lasting almost a year: snip one, series of tests, then snip two! Anyhow, overall a pretty interesting experience and well worth it. There are guesses as to why it happens but no guaranteed answer or cure. Dec 5, 2020 · Post-vasectomy pain syndrome: Post-vasectomy pain syndrome (PVPS) is a chronic and sometimes debilitating genital pain condition that may develop immediately or several years after Vasectomy reversal: Vasectomy reversal is a term used for surgical procedures that reconnect the male reproductive tract after interruption by a vasectomy. 3K votes, 289 comments. I had a longer than average recovery and I wore a jock strap 24/7 for nearly 6 months. 61M subscribers in the funny community. However, after all of what she went through, a vasectomy felt like the literal least I could do. 56M subscribers in the funny community. 236 subscribers in the HumorNama community. And like, that's cute and all but after seeing it literally a hundred times the same way, I'm really looking for inspiration for other things that are funny or cute or useful. Reddit's largest humor depository Posted by u/Funny_Suit5243 - 3,853 votes and 441 comments Title says it all. Reddit's largest humor depository I got my vasectomy in December of 2022, it went very well for me. My first time after a vasectomy I was so terrified to do it. Upwards of 30% of men have long term chronic pain after their vasectomy. We are both anxious about what the experience will be for him. Edit: Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. The subreddit for posting about Tyler, The Creator and his related work… r/Vasectomy A place for anyone to ask questions about vasectomies and share their experiences. 1. 4. Also wanted to put out there that I learned a lot from these profs and thoroughly enjoyed their classes, this is just meant to poke fun at quotes about math taken slightly out of context : ^) Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 51 votes and 85 comments Any songs or playlist ideas for a vasectomy? Getting the boys turned off, want to hear suggestions for good and humorous songs to listen to while the… 46M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Not saying a vasectomy is the same at all, but talk to a priest and see what he says about your situation. And thank god she did cause the first time there was a little bit of blood (fine after!), but I would’ve probably feinted if I was alone and did it myself. It's not uncommon. Reddit's largest humor depository Family Guy - Vasectomy song Velvet Revolver - Do It For The Kids Erasure - Chains of Love When In Rome - The Promise Bon Jovi - It's my life Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence Fleetwood Mac – Dreams Extreme - More than words The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) Beatles - Let it be Journey - Open Arms I (26f) asked my husband (30m) to get a vasectomy. Keep reading for funny vasectomy sayings, puns, and one-liners that you can use in a card to show your support before the procedure, or during the recovery phase. This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. This 100%. Me, I never wanted kids of my own. That ^ is a sign you are not ready for a vasectomy. Finally 2 months later, i was able to go for the procedure. It’s a great way to help your special someone embrace the lighter side of their vasectomy recovery while making a statement. Bumrungrad International Hospital, in true Bumrungrad fashion, told me their cost “starts at 90,000 baht. My wonderful wife made my fears disappear. If you have even a little doubt about it, then don't do it. ysuakpn tmeuby zdkc kvrnvs ggyn pptgg qepmwlx rmmed lvrcrbo nzr